7 Habits Continued

Habit 4:  Think Win-Win
This habit is based on the principle that good, lasting relationships have mutual respect and benefit.  This does not mean that everyone can always "win."  Notice it is called "think win-win."  The concept of "win-win" was a little difficult for me to grasp at first, because if you think very literally "win-win" rarely (if ever) happens. Then I realized what made the difference is what you define as a "win."  What you consider a victory, is often dependent on your values (identified and realized in Habits 1-3).  The real goal of habit 4 is to consider others before yourself, to stop and THINK of others before yourself. THINK win-win.  So perhaps (if I had authored the book), I would have named habit 4 something else for better clarity (but I didn't--and I'm not rewriting the book).  The principle of habit 4 is evident in scripture. To me the banner verse for Habit4 is Matthew 7:12: "So in everything, do to others what you would have them do to you..."  Christ did the ultimate "win-win" when He put himself on the cross.  He "won" the victory over sin and death and we "won" salvation! As a Christian, my desire is to be Christ-like.  Philippians 2:3-5 "Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit, but in humility considers other better than yourselves.  Each of you should look not only to your own interests, but also to the interests of others.  Your attitude should be the same as that of Christ Jesus."

Habit 5: Seek First to Understand, Then to Be Understood
I believe Habit 4 and 5 work hand-in-hand.  Habit 5 is specific to communication.  James 1:19 says "Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak, and slow to become angry..." Habit 5 is built around listening first, with the intent to understand- not to reply.  Most people (myself included) are ready to reply when conversing with others.  Sometimes, we are so ready to reply, that we miss what the person is really saying (especially when the conversations are emotionally intense).  If I were to quickly listen, rather than quickly speak, I would be much more "effective" in my responses.  Words are so important.  They last in our memories.  They can have multiple meanings, depending on how they are delivered and received.  So, not only does and effective communicator listen first, but they also respond thoughtfully.  I want to be more "slow to speak" so that I am more intentional and thoughtful in my response.  Some of my deepest regrets are words that I have spoken harshly or angrily.  Words that I spoke too soon, without  thought.  My hope is that as I grow and mature "May the words of my mouth and the meditation of my heart be pleasing in your sight, O Lord, my Rock and my Redeemer." Psalms 19:14.  

Habit 6: Synergize
This is based on the idea that we need others and others need us!  "The whole is greater than the sum of its parts."  God is relational and we too (created in His image) are relational.  It based around the idea that together, we don't have to compromise, but rather form a better way.  Proverbs 15:22 says "Plans fail for lack of counsel, but with many advisers they succeed."  The challenge hear is to seek counsel.  Don't be afraid to work with others, to seek counsel.  Everyone has different strengths and when we share them with each other in life, we all become more effective.  Effective people, don't act alone.  God even desires His people, His kingdom, His church to operate this way:  "Now to each one the manifestation of the Spirit is given for the common good." 1 Corinthians 12:7.  The challenge here is to be used for the "common good."  That's why I feel as a Christian, it's important to be part of a body of believers.  To be a part of the "common good," you must first have a common vision and purpose.  The church exsists to fulfill God's vision and purpose.  "All this is from God, who reconciled us to himself through Christ and gave us the ministry of reconciliation..." 2 Corinthians 5:18.   Christians working together are more effect in the "ministry of reconciliation".

Habit 7: Sharpen The Saw
This habit is about renewal, continuous improvement, and conflict prevention. Sharpen The Saw encircles all the other habits and bleeds into them.  This is also what day to day living for Christ is about.  Romans 12:2 says "Do not conform any longer to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind." 2 Corinthians 4: 16 "Therefore we do not lose heart. Though outwardly we are wasting away, yet inwardly we are being renewed day by day."  By reading God's word daily, praying, repenting, and working together with other Christains we are renewed and changed to be more like Christ.  I believe practicing forgiveness is a HUGE part of sharpening the saw.  There is no better way to prevent conflict and renew your soul than to forgive (and be forgiven).  Our presenter used the illustration of "pre-forgiveness."  He said a boss told a new-hire "You are pre-forgiven.  I know you will make mistakes.  The only thing I ask is, two things.  1- Tell me when you do. 2- Teach me (tell me how we can avoid the mistake in the future)."  I think that's exactly what Christ did for me.  I want to do that for others as well.  These two verses are good backing for this practice of forgiveness and repentance:  James 1:19, "Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you." Ephesian 4:32, "Turn from evil and do good, seek peace and pursue it." Psalms 34:14

So, that's my thoughts on the 7 Habits.  Now it's time for me to make them just that--habits!

7 Habits

I'm so glad I got the opportunity to go through the 7 Habits of Highly Effective People course with my co-workers.  It really got me thinking.  One of the exercises we did made us list our different "roles" and what we wanted people to say about us in those roles.  When I made my list intially, I wrote "Christian, wife, mom, daughter, sister...." Then, when I started to reflect on my roles to write my personal mission statement, I noticed I had made a HUGE mistake!   I thought I had done good to list "Christian" as my first and most important role, but I had missed the crucial obvious. Christian is not my role.  It is who I am and it carries over into every role.   I decided I wanted to explore this whole thing a little further and not just become a highly effective person, but a highly effective Christian. So, I'm going to take scripture and see how it applies to each of the 7 Habits.  

Habit 1: Be Proactive
This habit mainly deals with acknowledging that you have personal choice. People choose their actions.  You can choose your response to things and consider what is the right thing to do, no one makes you do something.  Simply put, it's acknowleding our free will.   God made us with the ability to choose.  The Bible is full of examples of choices people made-- some within God's will and some outside God's will.  Ultimately, we have the freedom to choose whether or not we even believe in God.  To me, this is the starting point.  The verse that came to mind to me is Joshua 24:15 "But if serving the LORD seems undesirable to you, then choose for yourselves this day whom you will serve, whether the gods your forefathers served beyond the River, or the gods of the Amorites, in whose land you are living. But as for me and my household, we will serve the LORD."   In every situation and personal decision, I need to remember whom I've chosen to believe in and serve.  If I do that, it will provide the framework for effectiveness. (Proverbs 16:3 "Commit to the LORD whatever you do, and your plans will succeed.")

Habit 2:  Begin with the End in Mind
This habit is about setting goals, dreaming, and having a vision for your life.  Proverbs 29:18 says (KJV) "Where there is no vision, the people perish..."  We are created in the image of God- and look how creative He is.  God designed us to create, to dream.  I've noticed as I've gotten older, I seem to do that less and less.  I'm amazed at the "ideas" and dreams that come from my children.  God asks us to come to him like little children (and I think he means we can even come to him with our dreams).  Things don't have to be bad in our life to dream for something different or even better.  "For nothing is impossible with God." Luke 1:37.  This habit is not a selfish or self-centered habit.  It in more introspective and future minded and should flow seamlessly into habit 3.

Habit 3:  Put First Things First
So, once you've decided to serve the Lord and you dream of what you can do with your life, your unique skill set, etc, you now move into prioritizing.   You must decide what things are most important.  I loved this principle, because it's where I often get off track and overwhelmed.  I learned that "urgent matters are not always important."  I learned that things that are important and urgent should get our attention first, and things that are NOT urgent, but important should receive our attention secondly--before things that are urgent and unimportant! (WOW)  In a high-tech, fast moving world many things are made to seem urgent, which gives them a false sense of importance.  I realized the key is deciding (based on habit 1 & 2) what is important before something "urgent" arises.  Then, you have something to filter the urgent matter through to determine it's level of importance.  Matthew 6:26-33 is one of my favorite passages (I call it my tatoo scripture because if I ever were to get a tatoo, it'd be of a daisy with this reference below it).  Verse 33 says "But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well."  So, when I'm trying to decide what should receive priority in my life, God made it easy.  He already tells me what to do first:  Seek His Kingdom...the rest will be given to us.  In my mind, God will not just meet our physical needs, but also our emotional and social needs.  He can give us wisdom and discernment on what should come 2nd, 3rd, 4th... in our lives.

Okay--I'm going to "pause the habits" here and take a rest. This is a good stopping point because Habit 1-3 are considered "the private victory."  They are things that you must be able to do before you can move on to "the public victory" (victory with others/relationships).  It is also in this first part, the personal victory, that you write your personal mission statement. (We wrote it under Habit 2)

Here's mine (a work in progress)"  V.I.V.E. (Value what God values. Intentionally love,inspire, and serve. Voluntarily give with compassion and humility.  Every opportunity counts.)

Those Who Have Young

He tends his flock like a shepherd; He gathers the lambs in His arms and carries them close to His heart, He gently leads those that have young. Isaiah 40:11

I fell in love with this verse because it characterizes the stage of life I'm in right now.  Having 3 boys (ages 4, 5, and 3 months)  knowing God "gently leads those that have young" is quite comforting.  Parenting is a great joy and at times challenging.  I'm sure I've made my share of mistakes.  Perhaps at times I've been too stern when I should have shown compassion, or too merciful when I should have disciplined.  I know I've analyzed and calculated what to "do" to guide them and teach them to love God.  Then, in humility, I read this verse.  I do not bear the sole responsibility for directing my children's souls.  I am but a sheep.  I am part of the flock.  When I follow the Shepherd, he will lead me.  Not only will he lead me, but He will gently lead me.  He will take special care to see that my footing is sure and my path is clear. And what about my precious lambs?  Will they follow me all on their own?  Will they follow close behind me and the Shepherd?  Ahh!  God is much better than that!  Look at his care.  Look at his tenderness.  Not only does he gently lead me, but he carries the lambs--the young.  It even says he holds them close to his heart.  What more could a mother want?  I believe God's word is true.  I find great peace knowing that even though at times I struggle to keep all my little ducks in a row (or in this case lambs), God gathers them and carries them as He leads me.  So those who have young, if your arms are heavy and full, take a break this morning.  God's got it covered.